It’s been way too long, readers. But it’s so great to be back.
I love personality tests. I seriously believe that Myers Briggs reads minds (okay, no, but it’s pretty cool). Every time I take a personality test I am always as far “extrovert” as one could possibly be: I like people, I apparently get my energy from people, and I live for people.And I’d even go so far as to say that in my off-the-charts extroversion, I am genuinely disappointed when I can’t see the maximum amount of people I want to see every day. I’m that girl that lights up when she runs into the guy who sat in the back of her history class who she never even met. Because, hey, it’s a person!!! Who has a story!!! And whose story intersected with mine!!! And that’s a reason to smile.
But now that Rush is almost over, I’ve been thinking a lot about how personality types only offer “extrovert” or “introvert”. I’d like to propose a third type.
I call it CRASHtrovert.
Say it’s a personality type, or a temporary condition, or an epidemic of all current or post-rushees, but regardless: Right now I am a crashtrovert.
Crashtroversion sets in when the most extreme extrovert meets too many people, gets way too much energy from these people, lives for and through these people, and then crashes.
Crashtroverts feel symptoms of an overwhelming sense of emotional fatigue, lack of direction and sense of purpose, and frequent identity crises.
Crashtroversion has left me resorting to my bed whenever I don’t have to socialize, has left me with zero motivation to do things that normally I love to do, has left me questioning my moral compass and life purpose, and has made me feel that maybe I don’t actually get my energy from people.
But, extroverts, don’t be fooled. You DO like people. You DO get your energy from other people.
You’ve just crashed.
We all crash.
But how do you pick yourself up from a crash?
I’ve tried sleeping, but I still feel overwhelmed with social obligations. I’ve tried putting a smile on my face, but sometimes even smiling takes too much energy.
But now I’m writing, and it’s helping a lot.
It doesn’t have to be writing; just do something that you know you love and that isn’t dependent on lots of other people. Do something that you know might just help someone out there.
Let yourself recover by taking a good long look at who you say you are, and taking an hour to just go out in the world and be that person. Let yourself recover by showing the world who you are, instead of telling the world who you are.
So that’s why I’m writing this blog post: I’m doing something that’s me, so that I can recover and remember who I really am. I’m writing to let you know that even the biggest extroverts just need a break sometimes. And I’m writing to let you know that although I am overwhelmed and a little lost, isn’t it beautiful that in writing, in retreating to solidarity to find my center, I can also connect with all the wonderful people I need most?