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What I’ll Miss These Next Four Months

What I’ll Miss These Next Four Months April 23, 20152 Comments

Words Of Hope Blog– dedicated to vulnerable writing about my crazy life. Check out my new tab Missed Moments about my experiences on public transportation!

I’ll miss showering in the far left shower and using the first sink by the door.

I’ll miss running in the gardens, getting myself lost and enjoying the day.

I’ll miss Thursday night Cru and staying around after for forty-five minutes because I just can’t get enough of the people. Every single person.

I’ll miss running into Jack and having him give me a huge hug, even if I’m in a rush and am holding a million things and am on the phone with my mom. Because he knew I needed that hug more than he could imagine.

I’ll miss going to Semis with the sweetest guys who make me feel beautiful and special. I’m talking about you, Chris.

I’ll miss Logan and Brandon always making me feel included.

I’ll miss Sunday Chapter with ADPi and seeing amazing women joining together to do amazing things on and off campus.

I’ll miss eating breakfast with David before PubPol and talking about how little sleep we got the night before. I’ll miss him making fun of how crazy I am sometimes (all the time?).

I’ll miss driving twice as many people as my car fits (you’re not reading this, Mom and Dad) to Chipotle because we just can’t have another Marketplace meal.

I’ll miss being stopped by random people on the Plaza to buy a shirt. (I swear they seek me out because they know I can’t say no. The amount of times I’ve donated $5 to a cause I’ve never even heard of is actually quite sad. I’m sorry, parents, for spending your money. It’s going to some cause, that’s all I know.)

I’ll miss making noise in the quiet room of Lilly and getting death glares and smiling to myself about how these people just need to get a reality check because life is about more than silence.

I’ll miss getting pissed at the people who are loud in the quiet room of Lilly because I’m trying not to fail my PubPol class and could you please shut up? I’ll miss laughing at my hypocrisy.

I’ll miss lying in bed at night rubbing my cheeks because they hurt too much from all the smiling I’ve done that day.

I’ll miss Shannon waiting to walk with me after class every day.

I’ll miss Hayley teaching me everything I need to know about how to function at Duke. And I’ll miss being Dope with you and Nikhil.

I’ll miss the random upperclassmen who say, “Hey Hope!” when I have no idea who they are. The curse of the red glasses is that they’re hard to forget.

I’ll miss Vanessa showing up at my dorm just because she needed to see my face. I’ll miss knowing that sometimes my presence is enough for someone, and how beautiful is that?

I’ll miss Giles Crew. I’ll miss friends that have my back, that know all of my faults and still somehow value me, who include me, who sit with me at dinner and go to fun events with me. Who love Yard House and basketball and being close enough to touch the best country music stars.

I’ll miss arguing with Yuran because I’ll miss always losing. I’ll miss hearing about his relationship because, guys, he really, really loves his girlfriend and it’s absolutely adorable.

I’ll miss seeing people right after I work out because, hey, if those people can stand to look at me when sweat is dropping down my body then those are true friends.

I’ll miss my academic advisor because for some crazy reason she actually sees a ton of potential in me and I liked the sense of empowerment she gave me at our monthly meetings.

I’ll miss Whole Food dinners with Sarah Rapaport.

I’ll miss the people I sat with during my AIDS class who I purposely distracted by sending cute pictures every five minutes of animals. They hate me for that.

I’ll miss the buses because it was an excuse to sit with people I’d never actually sit with otherwise.

I’ll miss the cinnamon scone I always got when I was feeling hungry around 11:32pm on Monday nights. I’ll miss the cinnamon scone Meade sometimes brought me when she knew I hadn’t gotten one yet. She always made them taste better. She always made everything better.

I’ll miss Sara asking me to dinner when I’ve already eaten, and going anyway because I’m just so excited to hang out with her.

I’ll miss saying I’m going to get lunch with people that I never get lunch with. And hating myself for that.

I’ll miss upperclassmen teaching me things I really, really needed to know. Like Hayley Boling and Bailey Sincox.

I’ll miss wondering how much I don’t know about certain people.

I’ll miss complaining about assignments that really aren’t that bad.

I’ll miss Authentic Colloquy Group Message, but more importantly the time we spend together.

I’ll miss going to phenomenal student events and reveling in the awesomeness of Duke students.

I’ll miss calling my mom and telling her I just need to cry and have her tell me that I’m doing okay and that she’s proud of me.

I’ll miss being mentored by Mollie, Loren, Avery, and Joseph.

I’ll miss being able to blame my lack of togetherness, my inability to have my life together, on being a freshman.

I’ll miss the people I just met who I wish I had met the first week of school.

I’ll miss Abi and Cameryn, the coolest, most supportive fam around. You’re the best big ever, Abi.

I’ll miss asking my dad if my blog posts are too vulnerable and having him tell me, “Hell no.”

I’ll miss Anna Sun commenting on my blog, Meade running to my room as soon as I click post and telling me she “just loves this one!”, having Ashley read every single post, and laughing as Dibet’s Wisconsin friends like and comment.

I’ll miss being asked if I’m drunk when I am in fact just having so much fun.

I’ll miss running into nice people in Giles, like Dylan who always takes a second to ask how I’m doing and never fails to have a smile on his face. I’ll miss running into Taji because, y’all, she is stunningly beautiful. I’ll miss random conversations with Daniel Watkins and frequent hugs from Dan. I’ll miss sitting in the hallways of Giles and having jam sessions and talking about current events. I’ll miss deep conversations with Antoniu. I’ll just miss Giles in general.

I’ll miss making small talk with people I don’t know about how much work I have and how stressed I am. When in reality I don’t actually have all that much work and I’m not really stressed. But I’m glad I got to talk to you about at least something. Because I think you’re really cool and maybe one day we’ll break the small talk barrier.

I’ll miss Amir’s smile.

I’ll miss liking boys that are completely out of my league and waiting until the whole “it’s all about the personality” thing actually becomes a thing.

I’ll miss just talking about boys in general because they’re great and horrible all at once and so there’s so much room for discussion.

I’ll miss realizing that people who seem so ordinary are actually changing the world. I’ll miss realizing that about every single person on this campus.

I’ll miss sitting on Arin’s bed and hearing about his girls.

I’ll miss seeing Ashley on runs and getting to talk about Build, our lives, our futures, the real stuff.

I’ll miss clinging to Ellen and Erin at every ADPi function and taking my classic pic with Marissa.

I’ll miss my whole day being made because I ran into Ade.

I’ll miss my funny conversations with Matthew and appreciating his passion and humility.

I’ll miss the people. You who reads my blog and takes five minutes to invest in me. You who smiles at me on campus and makes me feel valued and understood. You who makes me feel beautiful and powerful. You who makes me feel alive.

You who makes me feel like there is no else I need to be but myself.

Thank you for giving me so much to miss this summer, and I can’t wait to be back.

Words Of Hope Blog– dedicated to vulnerable writing about my crazy life. Check out my new tab Missed Moments about my experiences on public transportation!

2 comments

  1. And, we, too, have missed you these last 8 months and will probably miss you during these next 4, but knowing you are creating and living a life you will miss means you are AWESOMELY ok. I love you…. Dad.

  2. I enjoyed this. It reminds of one of my favorites- Emily’s monologue from “Our Town”. You’ll be very happy you wrote down your thoughts and memories about university life someday. I know it makes me happy
    to read them!

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